Originally Posted by something
It's important to be humble in our perspective on matters or any event that we were not present to witness, but we must form some accountability at some point. Consider the following: would you tell your kid when he comes home and lets you know that he was beaten up for his lunch money, "Sorry kiddo, I wasn't there, maybe you could have handled it better though?". That is absolutely what I would say. Yes. In my situation if my 6'3 205 8th grader got be up for his lunch money I would say 'What's wrong with this picture'- but I understand your point. Some kids wouldn't have any advantage.
What a lot of the posters in this thread is forgetting is that any comment that arbitrarily, or superficially, denigrates another human, there ought to be some accountability. Some posters are forgetting that boys will be boys, and this is life- sh*t happens. If you were told that you were a terrible hockey player by the opponent, it doesn't matter whether or not you are. You can demonstrate through your actions on the rink, by playing to the best of your ability whether or not such a statement is correct. If, however, someone derogated your character with no reasonable method of demonstrating the falsity of such a statement, you have no rationally connected recourse. So, for example, if you were denigrated by way of a racial slur, how could playing hockey possibly demonstrate the absurdity of such a remark - "You're a n_____" "Oh yeah? Watch my slap shot!" Failing to respond rationally will ultimately condone such ignorance. Then again, if you didn't fail to respond rationally, and you just utilized the 'sticks and stones' attitude (like my kid does), it's really not that big of a deal.
BigBrodieFan - while I condone your child's ostensibly excellent coping mechanisms and stoic attitude, I disagree with his response. It fails to hold the offenders accountable for their comments; even though the derogatory nature of those comments can be nullified by the absence of any concern. Explaining this: language acquires substance by reciprocation; the words you use in communicating with me must be agreed upon by myself if they are to hold any substance. If I disagree with the meaning of a word you use, the worth of that word becomes voided. If you were to make a random noise with the utmost hatred towards me, it would have little effect. What we are addressing here, then, is the attempt and intention of another person to denigrate someone else without proper justification - something much more fundamental than "just words". Perhaps if we were to have a meaningful discussion about this subject as adults, I would feel comfortable in agreeing with the points you've made. But we're talking about 13-14 year old kids who, whether you like it or not, have it in their genetic makeup to talk trash at this age because they feel invincible, and there are no holds barred in highly competitive young, immature athletes. This is the whole point.
I do not want to presume your socioeconomic status, but probability would suggest that your son has greater future worth than children of a minority. Well, in fairness, my son plays on an elite travel team where all parents spend a boat load of money each month on tournament fees and other expenses, so we all pay the same to play for the same coach. These kids are Johnson County brats who have everything handed to them on a silver plate. So, maybe if the socioeconomic forces were in play, it might make a difference. Socioeconomic potential is a buffer to such denigration. Minorities often form identities that seek pride in who they are as is identified by the disparities among them and the majority. When you slur a child of a minority, there exists the potential of exacerbating these identities, promoting disparity. Pop culture is an excellent indication of this, as children of a minority are disposed to artists that represent their identity.I absolutely agree. Before anyone suggests that I am promoting cultural hegemony, I am not. Nevertheless, when you suppress a population on an superficially identifiable characteristic that is incongruent with mainstream conditions promoting socioeconomic worth, you catalyze tension and conflict.
This is not to say your son is immune to hurtful remarks, and I do commend his courage in the face of such remarks. I am asking only that you be sensitive to the labeling of a child other than your own, who may need some guidance and support to realize that they are not less than others. So, I should forget about the 'whitey' remarks and be more sensitive to those children who may face more adversity? Well..I agree with you there as well.
The coach and the child who declared the racial slur must be accountable for their actions, alike. The decision of the OMHA to suspend the coach for the remainder of the season is disproportionate to the "offence" he committed. It's not like the coach was worried about making Starbucks before it closed so he could grab a venti frappuccino. He was reasonably disappointed with the officials inability to hold the offending child accountable, and exercised his discretion, not tyrannically, but democratically, to forfeit the game and send a powerful message that racism will not be tolerated.
That the OMHA did not account for these circumstances and punished the coach unduly and without proper consideration has reduced the organizations integrity, in my eyes.
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