There are too many red flags here to ignore.
One important long-term consideration is career-path-- Academics are notoriously bad at maintaining relationships based on geography, so if she has any plans to work in academia, there is very little chance her job will be in the same place she is studying. Since it sounds like you're pretty established and settled, even if things work out past this cali trip of hers, its just the beginning.
It sounds to me like she is very confused-- totally stereotyping, but sounds like she has the kind of parents who want to her to marry a nice Asian doctor or lawyer, and having some IT white guy boyfriend doesn't cut it. So as much as she may want the relationship, the external factors are likely strong, and unless she deals with that, you're going to be caught up in her internal / family dramas for a while.
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