Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Priest Charged With Hiring Hitman to Kill Teen Accuser

CaptainCrunch · 11-24-2010, 10:42 AM

I'm stealing Sliver's price calculation

Let's figure out how compensation for any job is calculated:

1. Unique qualifications
2. Education
3. Experience
4. Time commitment
5. Responsibility
6. Risk

That's all I can really think of for now. So based on my criteria and applying a possible 10 points for each line item, a hit would break down kind of like this:

1. Unique qualifications
Not only do I have the mental qualifications, but I have the training in my past on how to snuff a person out of existance using various means. Sure that training was a little over 20 years ago, but the old saying is a knife is a knife, a gun is a gun. For an extra fee, I can put my wood working skills to work in building a SAW movie type of killing device 15/10

2. Education
Highly educated but not current, I still go out and shoot once in a while, so I know I can hit stuff from a distance. But I would probably be more of a Jason Voorhee's type slow walking killer, not because it looks cool and you can have an internal soundtrack, but because my cardio is terrible and my knees are shot 6/10

3. Experience
I'm trained, and motivated, and while I have done much killing for real, and besides the fact that I trained for it, I've played plenty of Medal of Honor and Battlefield on my Xbox so I have several thousand hours of imaginary real world experience 10/10

4. Time commitment

Next to none, wear two sets of gloves, and as much clothing as possible to remove the chance of finger printing and DNA matches. Make sure that you collect your shell casings. Stage it like a home invasion, that way you can get some jewlery and electronics which add to your bottom line. When your done walk calmly to your car that you parked about 5 blocks away. Take your weapon apart and dispose of the pieces in as many different places as possible. Overall its a 12 hour crime 10/10

5. Responsibility

I'm not a total nut case, and I'm sure that at one point after I get my money I'm going to wack the guy that hired me just to shut him up. I'm giving it a 10/10.

6. Risk
Probably a lot, but by preplanning and staying calm, and killing the target with the first shot I can reduce the risk, plus I can always Holmolka the prosecution by rolling on the guy that hired me, demand that I be allowed to defend myself, and poop on the judges bench. I'm sure I'll get the maximum sentence and be out on the streets and for hire after a couple of years in a cottage prison. 10/10 for sure.

So this job would get a 61/60. $5,000.00 is a down payment for a motivated professional like me, like the old Han Solo deal, I want $5,000.00 and another 15 when we reach Alderaan, errr I wack the guy.

For another $1000.00 I'll throw in the VIP package which also comes with a coffee mug and a T-Shirt.

11-24-2010, 10:42 AM	#22
CaptainCrunch Norm! Join Date: Jun 2002 Exp:	I'm stealing Sliver's price calculation Let's figure out how compensation for any job is calculated: 1. Unique qualifications 2. Education 3. Experience 4. Time commitment 5. Responsibility 6. Risk That's all I can really think of for now. So based on my criteria and applying a possible 10 points for each line item, a hit would break down kind of like this: 1. Unique qualifications Not only do I have the mental qualifications, but I have the training in my past on how to snuff a person out of existance using various means. Sure that training was a little over 20 years ago, but the old saying is a knife is a knife, a gun is a gun. For an extra fee, I can put my wood working skills to work in building a SAW movie type of killing device 15/10 2. Education Highly educated but not current, I still go out and shoot once in a while, so I know I can hit stuff from a distance. But I would probably be more of a Jason Voorhee's type slow walking killer, not because it looks cool and you can have an internal soundtrack, but because my cardio is terrible and my knees are shot 6/10 3. Experience I'm trained, and motivated, and while I have done much killing for real, and besides the fact that I trained for it, I've played plenty of Medal of Honor and Battlefield on my Xbox so I have several thousand hours of imaginary real world experience 10/10 4. Time commitment Next to none, wear two sets of gloves, and as much clothing as possible to remove the chance of finger printing and DNA matches. Make sure that you collect your shell casings. Stage it like a home invasion, that way you can get some jewlery and electronics which add to your bottom line. When your done walk calmly to your car that you parked about 5 blocks away. Take your weapon apart and dispose of the pieces in as many different places as possible. Overall its a 12 hour crime 10/10 5. Responsibility I'm not a total nut case, and I'm sure that at one point after I get my money I'm going to wack the guy that hired me just to shut him up. I'm giving it a 10/10. 6. Risk Probably a lot, but by preplanning and staying calm, and killing the target with the first shot I can reduce the risk, plus I can always Holmolka the prosecution by rolling on the guy that hired me, demand that I be allowed to defend myself, and poop on the judges bench. I'm sure I'll get the maximum sentence and be out on the streets and for hire after a couple of years in a cottage prison. 10/10 for sure. So this job would get a 61/60. $5,000.00 is a down payment for a motivated professional like me, like the old Han Solo deal, I want $5,000.00 and another 15 when we reach Alderaan, errr I wack the guy. For another $1000.00 I'll throw in the VIP package which also comes with a coffee mug and a T-Shirt. __________________ My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!