Public Break up
I just got this email....apparently this guy sent it out to all his contacts to embarass this chick even further. Talk about Sweet Revenge.
Some colorful language in this. Reader beware!
>Apparently going around Calgary at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology
>email for cheating. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to
>his entire address book. He makes some excellent points.
>
>
>Brad,
>
>It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
>feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I
>am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
>people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
>that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all
>or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
>of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing.
>I can handle you
>being ****ed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the
>ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is
>thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel
>like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world
>looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there
>are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't
>know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you
>didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping
>that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally
>crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in
>my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange
>and weird to say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't
>reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate
>me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible
>person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to
>take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting
>with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It
>was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I
>would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.
>I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you
>won't. If not today, then maybe some other time.
>Also, thanks for
>getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at
>your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be
>great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel
>like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
>was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I
>really don't think I can handle that.
>I am so sorry.
>Elizabeth
>
>RESPONSE:
>
>Dear Elizabeth,
>
>Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L"
>for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
>about".
>You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting
>to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load
>of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for
>45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
>because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
>thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.
>To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
>degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
>span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't ######
>him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care
>less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday.
>Since your world
>revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly
>Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to
>consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news
>for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they
>just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who
>commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector.
>I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who
>comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing
>someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of
>anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's
>new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room.
>The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into
>the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last
>saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it
>happened.
>By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
>you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
>you do.
>Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
>watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
>PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.
>
>Talk to you never,
>Brad
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