Peter,
Here's my anecdote. Take from it what you will. Obviously every situation is unique.
I'm the same age as you but had my major breakup at the age of 21. I had dated the same girl from 18 until 21 when we broke up. I was very much still in love with her but it was obvious our relationship had soured. It took me a LOOOOONG time to get over it.
But that isn't the biggest thing I learned. The biggest thing I learned was the next relationship after the 3 year girl.
About 6 to 8 months after we broke up I met a girl who was everything my ex wasnt' (read: not a bitch). I really started to like the "next" girl and despite my instincts telling me not to I got involved. My instincts told me I wasn't ready and that I'd make a mistake.
After a month or so of dating I was thinking my instincts were totally wrong. Me and this girl got along great and I had pretty much forgotten about my ex. Then after about 3-4 months of dating things got a little more serious. I would frequently stay over at my new g/f's place and we were really happy.
Then I hit a wall. It was nothing but pure, unadultered fear. What hit me was that I was incapable of falling in love with my new g/f. Not because she wasn't wonderful because she was (and a freak in the sack I might add).
What got me was that I had tried to convince myself that I was ready to fall in love again and I wasn't. What bothered me more is that I began to realize that me and this girl could have had a real future if I would have waited, until I was ready and over my ex, to start dating the new girl. I ended up breaking up with her because I think she began to fall in love with me and that set off alarms in my head. I wasn't ready for commitment yet and to make it worse it was my own stupid decision that ruined any future chance of me and new girl being together.
Moral of the story: Get laid, have fun do whatever but don't think that a new girl will automatically help you get over old girl. I never once intentionally dated the new girl as a way to get over the ex but I did quickly realize that I had been lying to myself when I said I was ready for a new relationship. So, maybe casually date a few girls but beware of thinking you've found "the next one" until you are good and ready or you may find yourself not being over the ex and then realizing you ruined things with a girl that could have been more than another ex.
And just in case anyone cares I don't regret ruining things with the "new" chick. Well, I did but what bothered me more was that then I had to get over a second girl before I was over the first. Especially when I ruined things with new girl because I was afraid of commitment. At present I'm single and happy as a pig in poop. In hindsight I'm just glad I got out when I did because it allowed me to enjoy my 20s in bachelor bliss.
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