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Originally Posted by peter12
This thread has been amazingly therapeutic. Since this seems to be providing so much entertainment to all, I met with her one last time to exchange whatever we had left at each other's places and then said so long for good. Pretty brutal, as you can imagine that basically when I saw her all of the good times we had just came flooding back. So I just shook her hand and away I went.
As many have said, introspection is the route I will be taking. I ain't down for good, but goddamit, still stinks.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peter12
I got a text message from her sister saying she wants to still stay in touch!
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P-12, I'm eight months ahead of you on the ol' breakup curve with the same cause, so here's a few nuggets of wisdom (or something else) to consider.
Tell the sister that you appreciate her friendship and support, but it would just be a bit awkward and would make it harder for you to move on. So you go for a coffee and chat with the sister, what's the question that you're really going to want to ask? "How's my ex doing?" You need to get past thinking about her all the time, and if you're keeping in touch with her life, you'll be comparing it to how it could have been with you. Your mind should be spending its time on more productive exercises. The last thing you need is recurring episodes of what happened when you last met with your ex, even in smaller doses.
When someone cheats, it's over. Don't entertain thoughts of ever getting back together. Today you may have all the best intentions, and your logic tells you that the only right thing is to stay apart. And yet, if given the opportunity, you'd consider it because of the simple fact you love her - we all would. She might say that she's changed, and she might indeed change and you believe that she's changed. But the damage is done, and true forgiveness for that sort of betrayal doesn't happen. Any relationship you have with her would always carry that scar.
Good call on spending time taking a look within. Be aware that it's a short hop over to depression, so you gotta stay on top of how your soul searching is making you feel. One thing that will happen is you will realise what things are very important to you, and that you can't compromise on in a relationship, and you'll see some things in your last relationship that made you more unhappy than you'd care to admit. The next time around will be better for it.
You're only 25, and I say this in a way that isn't trivializing anything about your breakup, because a kick to the balls like that is the same regardless of age. But a truth about myself and I think many men is that the person you are at 25 can change quite a bit in the next few years, and because of that the description of who you want to be with may also change. Use your introspection to not just resolve what you're looking for in someone else, but also in yourself.