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Originally Posted by CaramonLS
Out of curiosity Peter, did she want to try to stay with you to work things out when you found out about this or basically say it was over fu type of deal?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flames Fan, Ph.D.
You've every right to feel hurt over her deception*.
However, perhaps there is maybe a little bit of mental relief (however small) that this deception allows you to break up while also allowing you to not feel bad about being the one that does it. She gave you the morally acceptable "out" and you took it.
I suspect that the relationship was already dying down somewhat, and that sex had a role in keeping "it" alive. In other words, you'd mentally checked out of the relationship before this. When you knew that fact, it was the time to bail; but of course, for many it's hard to sit face to face with someone and say that you want to end the relationship. The alternative, obviously, is that the two people continue to grow distant until both are unhappy, and one or both cheats*.
* With regards to deception and cheating, I think we as a society spend too much on the emotional / mental health part of it. From my perspective, cheating is the ultimate betrayal of your partner's physical health.
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Good point. I think that the physical component just as important as well. She says nothing happened, I'll still be getting tested in 3 months.
More or less, I think you are correct, except that I, at least, had the courage to lay it all out earlier on and basically give her the out, but she still said it was worth sticking around.
Also, if people use the term "sticking around" within a relationship, it's another sign it should end.