Quote:
Originally Posted by peter12
On the other hand, I am hurt that she lied. That was really effed up, because I would have given things another go. Another moral of the story, once you get to the point where you decide to have a last go at things, don't give things a last go. End it. I would have exchanged the feelings for different women for an entirely different woman than the one I was dating for 3 years. That sort of made sense to me last night actually.
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You've every right to feel hurt over her deception*.
However, perhaps there is maybe a little bit of mental relief (however small) that this deception allows you to break up while also allowing you to not feel bad about being the one that does it. She gave you the morally acceptable "out" and you took it.
I suspect that the relationship was already dying down somewhat, and that sex had a role in keeping "it" alive. In other words, you'd mentally checked out of the relationship before this. When you knew that fact, it was the time to bail; but of course, for many it's hard to sit face to face with someone and say that you want to end the relationship. The alternative, obviously, is that the two people continue to grow distant until both are unhappy, and one or both cheats*.
* With regards to deception and cheating, I think we as a society spend too much on the emotional / mental health part of it. From my perspective, cheating is the ultimate betrayal of your partner's physical health.