I just go back to the overall incompetance of the CIA in trying to zap castro with poison pens and beard gell, and then think of the hideous competance required for the U.S. government to pull off a 9/11 conspiracy and I kinda laugh.
I can see the meeting now
George W - "Gentlemen, we need to fake a terrorist attack on U.S. soil to give us the justification to kick that Saddam fellows a$$"
Cia guy - "Can we use lasers, I want to use a giant laser"
Dick Cheney - "We could make everyone in the World Trade Center have a heart attack, I've had 14, they're not that hard to create"
CIA guy - "One things for sure, we'll need 7 guys for this"
Bush - "7 guys to pull off this plot, we'd need pilots, soldiers to kidnap and kill passengers, demolition experts, a rich jew, and every reporter in the U.S. will have to be convinced not to investigate"
Cheney - "Don't we need senate oversight for special operations"
Bush - "F%%% the senate Cheney, they voted down my guns for puppies bill"
CIA Guy - "I'm telling you, giant space lasers . . . yeah I'm liking this idea. I need a budget for remote control airplanes, and trains to kill any whistle blowers"
Bush - "Look, we're not using lasers, why can't we use cruise missiles"
CIA Guy - "We'd have to make em look like planes, I'll need a budget to buy all of the Lego on the east coast"
Bush - "Make sure you get all the same color or the planes will look stupid"
Cheney - "You know whats stupid, this f'n pace maker, somebody needs to bring me a human baby, I'm starving"
Bush - "Speaking of human babies do we need to involve Satan again, I mean he did do a good job of delivering Florida"
Satan walks into the room
Satan - "What's up bitches?"
CIA Guy - "We need to fake a terrorist attack on the U.S. using planes, our top secret super demolition charges, the United States Marine Corp, lasers and lego"
Bush - "No Lasers"
CIA guy starts crying - "Can we at least order Chinese"
Satan - "I need to call the pope, we're gonna need some of his super Jesuit commandos"
An Alien walks into the room
Alien - "Hey guys, we just abducted Randy Quaid, anyone want his brain . . ."
To be continued
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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