Quote:
Originally Posted by Cowperson
You might find a world with as few personal secrets as possible would be a happier one than the world of constant manipulation you might be living in right now.
Maybe not as entertaining though.
Men and women both are capable of the behaviour manipulation you describe. One of my wife's nephews, now nearing 40, ending his second marriage to his second wacko, seems to be constantly trying to find his mommy and constantly being led around by the nose by the incredibly obvious manipulations of rather devious women. A few months after telling us he was leaving Canada for good, living on an island near his brother in southeast Asia and working rigs in Africa . . . . suddenly he's coming back to Alberta to live. Why? Because of his youn son by one ex-wife or daughter by the other ex-wife? No. Because he met a lady from his home town in Alberta out vacationing and now he's following her back . . . . and probably a bad ending yet again. He's a big tough guy but wow, grow a pair!!!!
So, I agree that actually works - if you're the manipulator - and Eastern Girl must admit that "Bad Boys," in spite of the obvious neon sign over their heads flashing "Danger, Danger!!!' seem to attract clouds of women, and it's not just the young. It could be through a lifetime.
But what's the long-term goal? I'd find it hard to believe passive-aggressive manipulation of the opposite sex is a contemplative way to eternal happiness.
I think our friend who started this thread is probably pooched on this opportunity but hopefully his Wah will gather the lessons learned so the next time works out better. And there's usually a next time.
Cowperson
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I agree. You know, I was kind of playing devil's advocate there so I hope I didn't
truly offend anyone.
I think the "manipulation" is really just testing the waters. You can't expect to find a deep, meaningful relationship that way, but you can guage the other person's attraction to you that way.
You do have to be yourself, absolutely.. but yourself changes with your moods. Even if you feel like the sad sack sniffling, heart broken man... you will not find a woman that way unless she's looking for a vulnerable rebound guy.
You need to show facets of what she is looking for. If you have to "sell out" to do it, then she's not your type and it wont last. If you can show her an honest side of you that fits into her taste or what she is looking for, then go for it!
I think everyone plays games when initial contact is made... they don't call it the "dating game" for nothing.
However, in this case... I think my strategy would work, because 7 years is a very long time. The phrase "7 year itch" comes to mind. She probably feels like there are other opportunities out there, and maybe the relationship has become comlpacent.
I am simply offering my two sense of how to get her to realize that she does love him. Or re-spark those feelings by threatening them. Maybe it
is manipulation, but I see nothing wrong with it, again, if it is genuinely for a better end.