[Maritime Q-Scout]

I just want to say first off, I've never been, nor know anyone who's been in this situation (well I probably do, but I've never talked about or even really thought about this type of situation before...) therefore any advice I give will be based on somewhat related experiances I've delt with. So, take what I say with a grain of salt if you choose.

I'm going to start my reply by trying to show how his parents might be thinking:

they're from a different generation, all of a sudden their baby boy isn't going to follow in their footsteps and marry the girl of his dreams, have children, raise a family, and well... be "normal" (in their definition).

Obviously, it's a shock to them, and they have someone to pinpoint everything on (ie: you).

Do I agree with getting p*ssed off over this? No... but I'm not in their position. Should they blame you for "making him gay", and say that they "hate you"? Obviously not, I do think that's out of line (atleast get to know you, it's ok to hate you for being an *******, but not for being gay)

Are his parents reactions out of the norm? Not saying they're right, but is their reaction abnormal?

I wouldn't think it is. So while it does hurt, and while they are wrong to say those things about you, and be harsh on their son over his coming out, if that's a common reaction it's something you unfortunately have to prepare for. (Might be overly harsh, again I don't know what parents reactions normally are).

That said....

what should *you* do?

I disagree with your advice to this point. Why fight? What does it accomplish now? They're in shock/denial. Right now NOTHING you say or do will change that. You can be perfectly logical, refute any of their concerns, show them there's nothing wrong with being gay, but right now, they won't even hear you. Your best bet in my opinion is to let them blow off some steam.

Even if they say they hate you, even if they're treating him like dirt, I think you both should treat them with the utmost respect, and be polite and kind. If you do that, in time I would think they'll "come around" sort of speak.

Again, right now their lives have been turned upside down, no need to go to WWIII right now, you're kicking them while they're down. I'd assume they'd never say they hate one of their son's friends, or treat him like dirt under any other circumstance, which means shock, they don't know how to handle it. Give them time.

In the words of Samuel Johnson "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

Even if they treat you poorly, show that you are indeed a good person.

Am I right? I dunno... I think most people would say if you treat me like dirt, fudge'em.

I don't think you're compromising your relationship, viewpoint, or giving into "the man" in regards to homosexulaity. You're mearly giving them time to cope.

Then again... what do I know? But I hope it helps