The following are my fav bits from the comedy central roasts. Greg Giraldo is the fnniest guy on those and here's my fav lines of his.
Greg Giraldo on Gilbert Gottfried
If he's got kids....."Who would f*&^ you, you've got the sex appeal of a school bus fire."
Giraldo on Lisa Lampenelli
If his wife is a slut....."she's got a lot in common with the Octo-Mom, she hasn't had a kid, but she has had 80 fingers inside her at the same time."
Giraldo on Gary Busey
If he's got big horse face teeth...."Your teeth look like a row of urinals, everytime you talk, I wanna piss in your mouth."
On Mario Pintone(little gay guy)...."You are one tiny, loud mouth fairy, you're the only guy I know that takes a step ladder to a glory hole."
On Brad Garret from Everyone Loves Raymond(giant guy)....."You are a f'n monster....how did you ever get your head up Ray Romano's ass with those bolts in your neck"
Those are just a couple off the top of my head. You can find plenty more on youtube that are solid.
Sarah Silverman on Kimmel...."I'll never forget the first time I saw Jimmy's balls, they were on Adam Corolla's chin.
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