First of all. WTF. I'm a guy.
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Originally Posted by V
Yes, it's hyperbole. Yes, you need to be present. No, you do not have to actively have to be looking after them. There's plenty of time at night to take it easy, enjoy a hobby, have a night out with the girlfriends while the husband stays home. There are opportunities to get a babysitter and spend the night out with the husband. In fact, it's my opinion that if you aren't spending alone time with your husband away from the kids than I can completely understand why this has been such a terrible situation for you.
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Look we get out. I'm going to the pub straight after work tonight and I'm staying home tomorrow night and my wife is going out. Wednesday night my MIL came over and my wife and I went out for dinner. This is probably a fairly typical week for us and like you I think it's important to spend alone time with your wife and we have always made a point of doing so.
August I went white water rafting over a two-day stag with the boys in Fernie. It was awesome and we partied like 18 year olds (I'm 33).
But you know what...that time off is like 1% of the year if that. Most of the time when I'm not working, I'm looking after the kids. When the kids go to bed at 7:30 we tidy the house, do some laundry, make lunches, etc. before we have to go to bed. It's not like the fun time starts at 7:30 because the kids aren't in bed, and I consider the cleaning, laundry, etc. part of taking care of the kids.
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Originally Posted by V
That's not what you originally said, though. You were talking about looking after your kid non-stop for thousands of days in a row 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You're telling me that in all the time of your kid's lives you and your husband have never gotten out of the house? Of course not. Now you lay down the condition that you haven't had an overnighter without the kids. Even so, why not? If it was important to you to get away from the kids for a night, why wait 4 and a half years? There's always an option. Shucks, I flew 3 hours at one point to drop the kids off at the parents so that the wife and I could take a 3 day vacation in a cabin with just the two of us.
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When you have your lunch at work, do you tell people "It's great, I only work from 8 - 12:30 then it's sweet bliss! Then I just work 1-4:30 and I'm outta there!" I doubt it. I'm sure you think of your job as an 8 or 9 hour a day commitment even though you have 30 minutes or an hour or whatever off for lunch.
I think the same thing applies to parenting. Sure I get a few hours off here and there, but it is perfectly valid to call it a 24/7 job for either my wife, me or us together. Your household is ultimately a 24/7 deal as well whether you want to admit it or not.