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Originally Posted by FireFly
If you get better the more you do it, why do some couples who have been together for a long period of time say their sex life is stagnant?
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Nah, some of us are just naturally gifted, while some people need to practice for game day, for others its game on every day.
and people's sex life gets stagnant because they stop trying. They take it for granted rather then it being an event. Its like . . . some people are ok with going to the mall once a month, while other people would rather go to the circus.
I also think that there's some fear especially in long term couples that if they introduce something different, that its going to effect their relationship dynamix. So for example, if I tell her that I want to tie her up, bring in that hot girl from down the hall and attach this car battery to us, she might hate it and question my sanity and ability to be the father of her child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Also, I'm not sure they're saying the sex will get better at all. Rather, it'll mean more and be more special. In addition, they're not doing it to improve their sex life, rather their connection.
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People are thinking about this stuff to much, its not so you think you can dance, its mashing bodies together. I also think that people put to much of a connection between sex and relationship building.
I also think people are too worried during sex. "Oh golly gee willikers, did she like it, did I please her, did she errrr arrive?" Screw it, did I like it, did it please me, and I know I arrive the map of the Islands is clearly on the ceiling.
I talk to a lot of my lame-o married friends, and it also seems like the woman tend to drive the sexual agenda in a marriage. They tend to set the who what when where and why . . . ok well not the who, but the rest of it, and their idea of exciting sex is stinking lingerie and candles . . . wooohoo, I tend to think that marriage is the great zombifyer in life, its sucks the fun and creativity out of sex and because we stress sex in a marriage it becomes a duty instead of a pleasure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Again, I don't think it's about proving commitment, rather deepening the bond. Which CAN happen in a non-sexual way.
I love playing devil's advocate. (Or in this case would I be playing the opposite role as it seems the devil's advocate would be for sex, no?)
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I do agree, sex ain't about proving commitment since sommitment is opposite of sex and its intent. Doing the dishes, renovating a house, buying her a car that proves commitment. Or thats what she tells me.