I wouldn't decide on the phone based on the antennae issue or the screen scratching. Anybody I know that has an iPhone 4 says they haven't noticed the antennae problem at all, and I've had iPhones for 2 years and haven't had a single scratch. I don't use a screen protector, I'm just careful not to put it in the same pocket as loose change or my keys.
Best bet I'd say would be to go find a Desire in a store to play with and see if you notice anything that puts it above and beyond the iPhone for you.
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