Ladies and Gentlemen let's examine the societal contributions of two noteworthy historial figures. One was John "Johnny Appleseed" Chapman and the other Julius "Orange Julius" Freed.
Appleseed was an illiterate frontier anarcho-agarian commie itinerate vagabond, who roamed the countryside planting apple orchards on land that wasn't his to begin with. A rather unkempt fellow, he hung out with forest animals, often preferring their company to that of fellow humans, according to legend.
His "apples" were nothing like the firm, large, juicy and arguably tasty types you see today in your local Superstore. No Sir. For these were the small, sour variety only fit to be converted into hard cider and hog fodder. Thusly, a burgeoning nation in its infancy was nearly lured into a state of ungreatness by this, this most un-American drunken dystopian.
On the other hand, Giant of Modern American Business Julius "Orange Julius" Freed sought to provide wholesome and delicious refreshment to a nation of thirsty consumers. His innovative franchises soon spread to malls across the continent and helped many fine citizens realize financial independence through operation of kiosks bearing his fine name.
Freed, in addition to being America's preeminent beverage magnate, was also a venerable inventor, a man who brought us the auto-cleaning spectacles, the inflatable shrimp trap, and the portable pigeon bather (I'm not making this up). A riveting life story of an American Hero. One must not confuse the eccentricities of a true genius with the antics of that hayseed Appleseed.
It's really no contest as to who is the greatest proselytizer of their respective fruit.
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