Quote:
Originally Posted by Devils'Advocate
Since almost half of the posters in this thread have said that people that would want IVF should adopt, can I ask why you choose to go the IVF route rather than adoption? Is it the desire to pass on your own genes?
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Not that big an issue for me (passing on my own genes), but I know for others there is truth to that. For us, we were certainly talking about adoption and had begun looking into it. I have nothing against adopting and in fact it can be a wonderful option.
On of the problems we found in our initial research into adoption is that it is not easy to get a healthy baby. You can get older kids easier, but that wasn't what we were looking for. For babies, many have a variety of physical issues (FAS or other substance abuse related issues). Fact is there isn't a big supply of well balanced teenage Moms that take good care of themselves during pregnancy and then make the challenging decision of giving the baby up for adoption--many adoptive babies come from less than healthy well adjusted families.
And for the ones that do come from an ideal scenario, then they tend to be 'open' adoptions now. So you pay a bunch of money (my wife just informed me it would've been more than IVF), then go on a waiting list, and hope eventually a Mom decides she wants you to adopt her baby, but also wants some sort of regular contact. It has many upsides, but obviously comes with its fair share of baggage as well.
My point is it isn't like getting a dog from the pound; there just isn't a large supply of healthy baby's and one just has to make the decision to adopt one of them. On the other hand, if you are interested in older children, or are prepared for the challenge of dealing with mental and physical issues, or going to a third world country, then it is easier---but still nothing really easy about it.
We were at a stage where we were debating a 2nd round of egg retrieval, vs going down the adoption path. Both are long and often full of heartache and disappointment. Fortunately we didn't have to make the decision when my wife got pregnant with our little girl, who has turned out to be more adorable than I ever could've imagined.
At any rate, I think IVF has as much merit as many things that are funded, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it should be. Right now there is a great foundation (Generations of Hope) that fund-raises in order to help couples that can't afford it, maybe the best solution is to see them get some more government funding to do what they already do.