Personally, I'd go for the Subi if you're going to running this thing hard all the time. The TDI gets great mileage, but chances are that car will spend the most amount of time in the shop compared to the rest of your group. VW's are great to drive, but man are they finicky.
And hey, thanks for considering a wagon instead of just automatically going the SUV/CUV route like most. Too many people don't realize that a wagon can give you the best of all words...
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