Spoilers below.....
I had a different take than HPLovecraft - I'm not sure what is right. My thought was that it all did happen and that they all did survive the crash. But the recent flash sideways things of their lives had the plane safely landed was all fake - it was something that was created by their minds after they died so that they could all find each other in the afterlife. Like - Jack's father said - they all died sometime - some long after Jack and some before. So once all of them had died they created this perfect world so that they could find each other in the afterlife. So essentially - everything that happened on the island, actually happened. We don't know what happened after Jack died and before the remaining alive ones died - presumably, Ben and Hurley protected the island, Kate/Sawyer/Clare etc all got off on the airplane that Lapidus flew and lived whatever lift. Then when they all died they found each other in this perfect 'reality'
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