On the fence issue you should let go of principle. Obviously you don't have to do anything. And obviously he should have talked to you first. But.... and this is a big but he added value to your property therefore you had a net gain from his action despite the process he went about it. Since you gained both in terms of asset value and functionality you should probably pay something for that benefit.
In determining how much you should pay for the fence i would ask yourself the following questions
1) Did you want a fence to be built in the next 5 years. If yes you need to pay something for the fence
2) Did he build the fence himself or have a contractor do it. If a contractor did it and you would have built a fence then i think you would only owe for materials.
3) Price out the fence you would have built.
Now take 40% of that price and you have what you owe him. You only pay 40% because the guy was a jerk about it but you still pay something. That way it gets rid of the $5000 fence argument
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