[PyramidsofMars]

Based on contemporary neuroscience, we know that women are biologically primed to look for status in a mating partner. Of course, our basic biology is only part of us, but it is worth looking at. 'Status' is often misconstrued as meaning 'cash' and 'nice car', but doesn't have to, at all, though often it will, especially in our individualistic, capitalistic Western society. Men look for sexual fertility in a partner, on a biological level, and women look for someone who can take care of them, etc. Again, the latter sounds patriarchal, but doesn't necessitate 'caring' in the traditional form, as even our biological tendencies are oriented by socialization. Just taking charge in any sense is usually a very attractive quality in a man. So long as it isn't about control.

so yeah, that sort of 'nice guy' wouldn't really be attractive to the vast majority of women, because he is not assertive, and cowers behind the woman, deliberately subordinating himself and elevating her to a higher status than him. Assertiveness doesn't have to come in the form of not being a nice guy, though, as you seem to suggest, it can come in many forms.

You can be a feminist man and still be attractive to women, but I find that is only the case when this feminist man is still confident, assertive, and, moreover, casual about his beliefs. At university, I know a bunch of feminists from both sexes, and the guys who don't have much luck aren't 'nice guys', but are, bluntly, pussies who think sucking up to people is the way to get ahead in life. That might be true, but there's a proper way to suck up, and going 'oh my royal highness I bathe in your feminine supremacy' all the time isn't the proper way. At all. On the other hand, the dudes who are just like, 'yeah, women finally finding their place in the world, that's cool', date some of the hottest and most personable women at school.

But you can keep feeding your 'Me Tarzan, You Jane' fantasies. Sure, there are emotionally compromised women who buy into that sort of crap and enjoy abusive relationships, but most are hopefully smarter than that these days.