[CaptainCrunch]

steps

1) Take magpie corpse and clean it in a solution of 1/5th soap 1/5 bleach and the rest water
2) gently towel off
3) Select sharp knife, cut feet off put in bag to sell to budget chinese food restaurant for profit
4) Insert knife in rear belly of bird near the rectum, while laughing like a mad man savagely gut fish by pulling in a left to right direction,
5) Reach into carcus and grab entrails pull them out straight towards you, then take entrails and toss them into the pit that you've dug in your basement that contains the missing 20 year old prostitute named Chloe, yell down "There's your dinner you dirty sinner, god wants you to eat it)
6) Return to bird and admire your handiwork.
7) Grab both sides of the incision and pull the incision wider.
8) Place on your head as a hat, re-enforce corpses head with a discarded clothes hanger, optional enforcement of wings is up to fashion sense.
9) Stalk around your house while talking to whatever diety good or evil that you curently worship.
10) return to hooker hole and show girl what you managed to accomplish with a simple knife and some clothes hanger. Comment on the fact that she hasn't eaten her dinner.