Tell him that you'll only SERIOUSLY consider it at 2X your normal rate, a dude to follow you arround with an umbrella (a la p diddy, or diddy, or whatever that dickhead calls himself) and a fresh supply (daily) of gummy worms and those massive jaw breakers you can only get in Banff. If he asks you to sit down to talk about it, tell him to meet you in full work clothes, on a corner in Forest Lawn with $1000 cash stuffed in an envelope at 11PM.
Or you could tell him you're not interested, and when he asks why give him the phone number to the Betty Ford.
Edit: haha fromage beat me to it
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