Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Help

Cowperson · 01-20-2010, 07:52 AM

We have some experience with a relative with depression/bi-polar issues.

Disappearing (literally as well) and reappearing from a black hole of depression, triggered by something innocuous, is their normal.

Our experience is that leaving them alone to re-emerge is sometimes the best course of action.

In our case, this person was functional for about 40 years of life but then something triggered a decade of homelessness to the point where the person remains effectively unemployable, unable to complete the simplest of tasks even as they are functional in everything else. This person reacts adversely to pressure of any kind. After a decade of living in various shelters/under overpasses, this person finally asked family for help after rejecting any overture before. The recovery from the depths has been gradual. We secured a doctor for them which was step one. I bought a cheap house and put this person in it, better than having them living under an overpass. As recovery began, they accumulated a dog and two cats which have served as an anchor . . . . they probably won't run away to their former life of homelessness and leave them, as dark as it might get in their head. This person may go weeks without answering the phone when the days are bad, including right now. My wife may have to go out and find out where they are next week as a matter of fact. Doctor-prescribed drugs are of some use in initial stabilization but don't seem to do much over the longer haul.

It can be best to leave them alone, believe it or not. Finding them and pressuring them to reveal what's wrong may do the opposite of your intention.

Yet, as with our case, eventually you do have to find them. Not to judge them, but to ensure they're safe.

Your friend is in his mid-30's and has been functional to this point, yet strange things are starting to happen. The description in your story sounded somewhat familiar. Our own experience is that previous "normalcy" may not be an indicator of what the future might bring. Sometimes the demons win.

Just be careful what you do and say when/if you find your friend.

Cowperson

01-20-2010, 07:52 AM	#9
Cowperson CP Pontiff Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: A pasture out by Millarville Exp:	We have some experience with a relative with depression/bi-polar issues. Disappearing (literally as well) and reappearing from a black hole of depression, triggered by something innocuous, is their normal. Our experience is that leaving them alone to re-emerge is sometimes the best course of action. In our case, this person was functional for about 40 years of life but then something triggered a decade of homelessness to the point where the person remains effectively unemployable, unable to complete the simplest of tasks even as they are functional in everything else. This person reacts adversely to pressure of any kind. After a decade of living in various shelters/under overpasses, this person finally asked family for help after rejecting any overture before. The recovery from the depths has been gradual. We secured a doctor for them which was step one. I bought a cheap house and put this person in it, better than having them living under an overpass. As recovery began, they accumulated a dog and two cats which have served as an anchor . . . . they probably won't run away to their former life of homelessness and leave them, as dark as it might get in their head. This person may go weeks without answering the phone when the days are bad, including right now. My wife may have to go out and find out where they are next week as a matter of fact. Doctor-prescribed drugs are of some use in initial stabilization but don't seem to do much over the longer haul. It can be best to leave them alone, believe it or not. Finding them and pressuring them to reveal what's wrong may do the opposite of your intention. Yet, as with our case, eventually you do have to find them. Not to judge them, but to ensure they're safe. Your friend is in his mid-30's and has been functional to this point, yet strange things are starting to happen. The description in your story sounded somewhat familiar. Our own experience is that previous "normalcy" may not be an indicator of what the future might bring. Sometimes the demons win. Just be careful what you do and say when/if you find your friend. Cowperson __________________ Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. - Anonymous