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Phanuthier · 01-20-2010, 01:01 AM

Ok so some of you know this, but I was hoping to get a broader range of opinions before I do something on this.

Background: A friend of mine ("P") through university (fellow masters student) goes AWOL the past 3-4 weeks. For a while, I thought he just went on vacation or was really busy or something, so when he didn't reply to my messages or emails, I thought nothing of it. Then, I get a call from one of my friends / fellow co-worker of P and his workplace is wondering where P is since P's been AWOL for 2 weeks. P sort of considers me his best friend.

Description of "P" : mid-late 30's, not religious, born/raised in the USA, Caucasian, a coarse away from finishing a masters, has a job, passive type-B, a little socially inept, bit of a nerd, single, not that many friends. He's afraid of confrontation and arguments, and if you push him hard, he'll go into a shelter.

I talked to his family today over the phone (his family lives in a town 2 hrs from San Jose) and they were apprehensive in talking about it too much so I think they were holding some info back, but basically, something happened, P drove from California to Alabama and back to Cali (in a short period of time, like 2 days - this is east-west across the USA) .... stayed with his parents for a short period of time (hours, maybe a night) and has dissapeared for a week and nobody has seen him since. He isn't returning calls, including his family. I left my number with his family and said to contact me if I can help in any way.

I just found his address (temporary address, besides his parents address in that town 2 hrs away)... should I go visit him, or will that push him into a shell farther? Or am I overstepping my bounds here, and his family would have told me to do something if I should have?

(serious replies here please, obviously)

01-20-2010, 01:01 AM	#1
Phanuthier Franchise Player Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Silicon Valley Exp:	Help - friend with depression / suicide (?) Ok so some of you know this, but I was hoping to get a broader range of opinions before I do something on this. Background: A friend of mine ("P") through university (fellow masters student) goes AWOL the past 3-4 weeks. For a while, I thought he just went on vacation or was really busy or something, so when he didn't reply to my messages or emails, I thought nothing of it. Then, I get a call from one of my friends / fellow co-worker of P and his workplace is wondering where P is since P's been AWOL for 2 weeks. P sort of considers me his best friend. Description of "P" : mid-late 30's, not religious, born/raised in the USA, Caucasian, a coarse away from finishing a masters, has a job, passive type-B, a little socially inept, bit of a nerd, single, not that many friends. He's afraid of confrontation and arguments, and if you push him hard, he'll go into a shelter. I talked to his family today over the phone (his family lives in a town 2 hrs from San Jose) and they were apprehensive in talking about it too much so I think they were holding some info back, but basically, something happened, P drove from California to Alabama and back to Cali (in a short period of time, like 2 days - this is east-west across the USA) .... stayed with his parents for a short period of time (hours, maybe a night) and has dissapeared for a week and nobody has seen him since. He isn't returning calls, including his family. I left my number with his family and said to contact me if I can help in any way. I just found his address (temporary address, besides his parents address in that town 2 hrs away)... should I go visit him, or will that push him into a shell farther? Or am I overstepping my bounds here, and his family would have told me to do something if I should have? (serious replies here please, obviously) __________________ "With a coach and a player, sometimes there's just so much respect there that it's boils over" -Taylor Hall Last edited by Phanuthier; 01-20-2010 at 01:43 AM.