Driving through the desert is no big deal. The colorful desert hills of the Southern Utah and that corner of Arizona down the 15 is one of my favorite sights on the drive. The longest drive without seeing gas stations seems to be in Idaho. I would definitely fill up in Idaho Falls or Pocatello if you're heading south, Ogden, Utah or just north of there on the way up.
If you want to take the coastal route, I would take Interstate 5 in through Washington and Oregon into Northern California so you can drive through the Siskiyou mountains on your way down. The scenery there is breathtaking as you drive the bridges over the lake and get to see Mt. Shasta from several angles. You can cut over to the coast from Redding, just south of the Siskiyous on Hwy 299. Just head west, through a pine forest to the coast and catch the 101 in Eureka and head south. Its a beautiful drive down the coast to the Bay Area. Then you can take PCH through Carmel, Big Sur all along the coast down to San Luis Obispo, where you can pick up the 101 again and keep heading south.
I was afraid to fly until about two years ago. With relatives in Washington and Montana, I've made these drives at least 20 times.
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