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BlackEleven · 11-27-2009, 10:12 AM

I've been in the same situation as you, and we have similar opinions on marriage. The best advice I can give you is to pick your battles.

I ended up taking the couch.

But when the tables were turned and her parents were coming to visit us, there's no way I would have even considered the couch. And her parents were fine with that. Since I respected their beliefs in their house, they would respect mine (well ours) in our house.

You may want to consider this scenario especially since you live in different cities -- there's a good chance that someday they're going to come visit you, especially if you really are in it for the long haul. If you take the hotel now, they'll take the hotel when they come to visit you (well, her) and it'll always be a standoff.

The basic decision you have to make is whether its more important to have an uncompromising worldview or to be (eventually) accepted as part of the family, or at the very least to make an effort in doing so. They accept you enough to let you stay in their home at all, so this shows they're at least willing to compromise to some degree. You're at a point where you either have to accept their compromise or widen the rift.

11-27-2009, 10:12 AM	#145
BlackEleven Redundant Minister of Redundancy Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Montreal Exp:	I've been in the same situation as you, and we have similar opinions on marriage. The best advice I can give you is to pick your battles. I ended up taking the couch. But when the tables were turned and her parents were coming to visit us, there's no way I would have even considered the couch. And her parents were fine with that. Since I respected their beliefs in their house, they would respect mine (well ours) in our house. You may want to consider this scenario especially since you live in different cities -- there's a good chance that someday they're going to come visit you, especially if you really are in it for the long haul. If you take the hotel now, they'll take the hotel when they come to visit you (well, her) and it'll always be a standoff. The basic decision you have to make is whether its more important to have an uncompromising worldview or to be (eventually) accepted as part of the family, or at the very least to make an effort in doing so. They accept you enough to let you stay in their home at all, so this shows they're at least willing to compromise to some degree. You're at a point where you either have to accept their compromise or widen the rift.