Quote:
Originally Posted by rubecube
I shouldn't say she doesn't want to get married because she does. She's a woman and it's wired into most girls from the day they first get a Barbie and Ken. This pretty much the reason I've never been involved in very serious relationships. I am against getting married 100%, and that's a stance that will never change.
I told her pretty much as soon as we started getting serious how I felt about marriage. She knows that if that's what she wants, then she needs to look elsewhere. I really appreciate that she is making that sacrifice for me, and there will be a time when I'll probably have to repay her in some way.
Marriage is a deal breaker for me. I feel that if it is that important to someone that they make it a deal breaker for us, then we probably weren't meant to be together in the first place.
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Again, I'm not trying to be a dick or make a point, so please don't take what I say as anything but sincere questions.
I take it from your previous posts that you're anti marriage because you think it's caused members of your family, and yourself, a great deal of pain. I think this is a bit of flawed reasoning. It isn't the marriage that caused the pain, it was the breakup and divorce.
A lot of folks subscribe to the "It's just a piece of paper" philosophy, and if that's the case, why would you be unwilling to sing some piece of paper to maintain a relationship with someone you love?
Does that piece of paper really make ending a relationship that much more devestating? I'd argue no.
If you've been living together long enough, the breakup can have just as many financial complications as a divorce.
If there are children involved, then I really hope there is no difference at all between the two.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, that if you're anti-marriage because you don't want the marriage to end badly, then I'd argue that you're not anti marriage, but anti commitment, as a breakup after years of living together isn't much easier than a divorce.
If you're in the "I don't need a piece of paper" camp, presumably because you think the paper is irrelvant and inimportant, then why would that same piece of paper be a deal breaker if someone you loved really wanted it?