[rubecube]

Originally Posted by octothorp

I get the feeling from your post that it's more the issue of respect than that you actually want to cuddle with your girl, am I right?

Exactly. My feeling is that he doesn't respect our relationship. He's demonstrated this towards my girlfriend on numerous occasions (always when I'm not around), and this is his way of showing me who's boss.

If you want to continue in the relationship long-term (continue to live with her but not get married), you're going to need to resolve that tension with her father.

My girlfriend has asked me not to get into it with him because he's got a bad temper, but I'm almost there anyways.

And fathers are always going to be more protective of their daughter than their son, so his allowing his own son to have girls over doesn't really have any bearing here. I'd actually go along with his rules, as a demonstration that your relationship with her isn't just about sleeping together; it's not going to make him change his mind about you, but if you refuse and stay in a hotel, it's only drawing attention to the sexual nature of your relationship with his daughter, and he's not likely to forget that soon.

That's not what I'm trying to demonstrate. I'm trying to demonstrate that it's our relationship and he should quit trying to control it. And the issue with her brother is still a double-standard, no matter the reasoning behind it.

Neither my parents nor my wife's allowed us to sleep in the same bed when visiting before we were married, and while it annoyed me that my parents had that approach, I'd never challenge her parents over it. My parents are protestant and hers are agnostic, but I don't really think it has much to do with religion.

See, both of my parents are fine with us sleeping in the same bed at their places. My mom is religious and told me it wasn't okay in the beginning of our relationship (before we lived together) but that it's clear that we're committed to each other and she's prepared to honour that when we stay with her.