[twotoner]

I disagree completely with all the comments so far.

You seem like a really nice guy and the advice that follows won't be easy for someone like you. So start by trying to follow Steven Covey's sage advice:
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND.
Visualize yourself, daughter in hand, walking slowly down that isle six to seven months from now. You are twenty feet away from handing your precious daughter off to him. How will you feel? Do you know this guy? Is he right for her? Can they make it?

As a Father in Law to be, you have a critical role to play. It is your responibility to yourself, your daughter and society to prepare them for what follows their big day. These next few months need to test the metal of the groom to be. True character only reveals itself in the heat of battle.

Start by hosting weekly planning meetings. Make them long and drawn out. Sundays are best, a little before noon. Print out an agenda, record lateness. Express contempt when he shows up dressed in anything less than a collared shirt and dress pants. For a couple of these meetings, change the time to Saturday afternoon at the last minute. Note the times he shows up hungover and comment at length about it when he does. If he misses a meeting, arrive unannounced at his place of employment and take him out for lunch to make up for it. Fridays are perfect for this.

Use these meetings to figure out how you can *contribute*. Make each contribution conditional on things you know he won't live up to. When he breaks these promises, withdraw that particular contribution. Retorting to any protests with "You are a man of your word aren't you? You live up to promises you make don't you?" or "Hey, we shook on this!" are quite effective. Don't get emotional, be calm cool and collected but above all firm.

This is your daughter we are talking about right? Contract a PI to do a thorough background check. Listening devices, GPS tracking, hiring seductive women to tempt him, keyloggers on his computer, monitoring his facebook account, and hacking his email are all fair game. Make him authorize a credit inquiry, especially if some of these contributions are framed as loans.

It is very important for them to create their own family unit. They both need to mentally separate from their respective parents and look to each other to jointly make decisions. If it was meant to be, this trial by fire you unleash on them will encourage and speed up this process.

About two weeks before the big day, mellow right out. Come through with all your initial promises. If they've had to downgrade the venu as a result of your games, pull through with the original choice all maxed out. If you've lived up to your true duties as a Father in Law to Be, you'll probably need to comp their honeymoon and maybe even help with the downpayment on their house.

Good luck and definately don't hesitate to poll the helpful CP brethren for more insights on how to make this formative period a real success!