Well, if you have the money, I'd say $20 - $25,000 is a really good number for one side, or the whole thing. I'm only saying because you asked!
Also, from experience, a destination wedding isn't always cheaper. We didn't have many people and it was just as much as a big at home wedding. You have to add hotel, food, entertainment to the bill, basically your paying for a honeymoon as well as the wedding.
For $25,000 they can have pretty much what they want quite easily. If the other side puts in any then that's great, matches it? Then they are set and then some.
My sugesstion in planning is to choose a couple of things to splurge on. I chose my dinner and hotel room (destination wedding). Some women choose their dress and transportation, or flowers, etc. If they go full force on everything it'll break the bank, but if you give more to what's important, then it makes choosing everything else that much easier. Don't care about table centerpieces, then don't do them, love them, then spend $200 a table. Just don't spend $100 on a table because they look like they'd be nice to have, if you see what I mean. I could go on as I'm just fresh out of this!!
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