I was holding hands with a girl and walking down the street and I was telling her something really clever and I collided with a light pole pretty much knocking myself senseless.
In highschool I was a running back, I took a handoff up the middle and brained myself on the goal post fumbled the ball and cost us the game.
I was playing goal in road hockey and showing off for my girlfriend and her friends who were watching when a friend of mine wired a slapshot off of the boys causing me to tear up and sob like a girl while lying in a fetal position.
When I went in to emergency for my heart problem, the nurse who was cute went to check my pulse and I popped a boner.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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