Quote:
Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck
I have read material that says if both people in a relationship are the same, they quickly tire of eachother and become bored. They become co-dependant and there is no challenge or mystery to their persona after some time.
It was saying that the best relationships are the ones with polar oppisites, where both parties bring in different personal attributes, thus keeping the relationship fresh and exciting over the long term.
For example the wild man who marries the tame woman, or if one partner is left-brained and the other is a right-brained thinker.
I think many relationships fail because the two people lose their identity a bit and become the same as the other.
So I wonder what it is;
Is it that people with commonalities make for successful relationships?
Or do opposites truly attract?
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Now that's interesting. In one of my 200 level Psych classes we did a trait analysis and they were saying how it was best to have all of them the same except for one. This allowed you learn things about your partner but at the same time not argue about every thing seeing as you think exactly opposite.
With the few partners I've had, if I'm going long -term, a partner that is most similar to me is one that I will have less fights and more secure but will be the most boring. I'm not one to really be pro-active in my life and climb Mt. Everest and cure cancer and have 10 kids. I like to be mellow and hang out, watch some movies and have a nice dinner. Now if I were to date someone so active in their life, it'd drive me crazy.
My other partner in life was the exact opposite of me. No sense of saving money, loved to party, ran every morning. Not that I hate it... but it tired me out fast. It was fun for the time but definitely not long-term material for me. However, for someone else I could see how it would be.
I think in relationships it is imperative to know the other persons habits such as how they save/spend money, how active their lifestyle is
, how ambitious they are, etc. The other stuff you just learn to deal with and learn to accept.