[CaptainCrunch]

Are you people silly. The minute that Archie marries that Veronica chick his sex life is over. Oh sure, they'll have the perfunctory 30 seconds of missionary once a month while Veronica bitches about her tough day at the garden club and how bloated her ankles feel after her three martini lunch with the other members of her society club. Meanwhile Archie was forced to work in the mail room in a spirit crushing job for his father-in-law. Meanwhile during sex, Veronica informs him that it will be the last time if he continues to hang around with that disgusting Jughead who didn't change his eating habits after his 25th year metabolism drop that caused him to balloon to a fat 350 pound doofus who still wears a crown and is living off of the welfare syste. And every morning you have to watch as Reggie, Mr. Lodge's new VP of whatever comes over to chat with your wife while your leaving for another soul crushing day pushing a cart full of mail through the Lodge empire. Meanwhile your two kids Reggie and Veronica hate you with a passion and keep screaming at you that your not their real father.

Meanwhile Betty has become a stripper at the famous Riverdale gentlemans club who made her mark with a gimmick where she dresses up as a farmers daughter and shoots marbles out of her whoo haaa with stunning accuracy, she's been to sex addiction therapy multiple times but it never takes because she just likes banging and vintage camaro's way to much.

So the question is . . . . miserable in the penthouse, or penthouse action in the trailer park?

I know what we'd all go for.