I'll echo others. It's not your fault!
A person who contemplates suicide already had many many issues. You are analyzing this rationally and it's tearing you apart but a person who comtemplates suicide is not rational so you can't predict what might have been. Think of it like a glass full of water. You are the unfortunate one where your action, or non action, may have been the extra drop of water but sooner or later that glass would overflow anyways.
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Watching the Oilers defend is like watching fire engines frantically rushing to the wrong fire
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