I think I have an explanation for the micropenis: another wizard cast a spell on him!
In all seriousness, he was clearly either drunk or high--and didn't look especially dangerous. This was a perfect example of how nudity can be utterly nonthreatening, even if also a little icky. And yeah, it's against the law. So? Arrest him. No-one can see his penis in the squad car. Let him sleep it off in the drunk tank and then pay a fine.
You want to tell me that three big, burly cops can't lead one doughy out-of-shape guy away in handcuffs without using a taser? Don't make me laugh. That guy looked about as dangerous as a tranquilized kitten. Just put cuffs on him and lead him away. No taser--and no big deal.
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