I would suggest sitting down with her and trying to clearly communicate so you can get to the root of the problem. If she feels insecure about herself or being alone or anxious about the future of raising two kids, etc it may be expressed in the fits of resentful anger that is the passive-aggressive nagging you've described here. In her mind, demonizing drinking and playing guitar may seem a lot easier than telling you she feels insecure in your relationship due to X or Y. Perhaps a good way of going about it would be to be clear and honest why you go out and do what you do, with a special emphasis that it isn't about excluding her or getting away from her.
On the other hand, I would suggest not simply giving in and compromising, until at least she's stated her reasons for the way she's acting and feeling openly and honestly. Don't reinforce foot-stamping or petulance. Don't reinforce the begrudging of your individual pursuits as a matter of course. In doing so, you may assuage her resentments, but you'll end up building up some of your own, which would also be destructive to the relationship. It would also communicate that she'll have to deal with her issues with you and the relationship in a clear, mature and consensual manner in the future - not just denigrate what you value in huffy tones whenever something you do annoys her.
Im certainly not saying "don't compromise" here. If you can sit down and hash it out with her, you may find you'll want to skip a jam session or two if she looks you in the eye and says "I feel really neglected and alone when you leave for so long every so often." When people are communicating openly and in earnest without attacks or ultimatums, compromises can be negotatied in good faith; and outcomes that are potentially satisfactory for both parties can be reached. Which should be the ultimate goal here.
Hope that makes sense and helps.
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