Some good advice in this thread.
My wife and I have been married for 6 years, two kids (3 and almost 2). The difference with us is that I am home with them during the day Mon.-Weds. while she's at work. I work Thurs.-Sat. so she never has the kids by herself other than Thursday and Friday evenings.
Personally, I think it comes down to making plans. I make plans to do things with guys, usually at least a week in advance. She rarely makes plans to do anything. I have never said that she couldn't do something, ever. Yet, whenever I go to do something I planned, I always get the feeling that she thinks I'm leaving her to fend for herself with the kids. Maybe I'm putting guilt on myself?
If I feel the pressure of being shamed about what I do, I remind her of all of the things I've given up since we've had kids. It usually pisses her off, but sinks in eventually. Plus, she cleans the house in a fury when she's mad at me, so that's a bonus...
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