Symbolic gestures count for a lot. If you demonstrate some sacrifice (such as stopping drinking when you jam), it could be fairly meaningful to her, even if logistically it doesn't change anything at all. Or if she's a particularly practical woman, she may find it insulting that you think that offering to stop drinking would be enough. I'd leave it to you to judge that, but I think it's likely that she wants to see something that demonstrates an understanding of your changing family unit. If you used to go out on dates before the kids, taking her out for dates now won't help, because that's not change. Maybe look at initiating a project together that's related to your family life, but something fun and something you haven't tried before.
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