[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by DESS

Let's get a couple things out of the way right out of the gate.

• yes, I'm completely serious about this
• no, I'm not trolling

Okay, this is why I don't like dogs:

1. They are loud. I can hear them barking at night and I can hear them barking in the morning. If I walked outside and shouted randomly on a daily basis, the cops would be all over me. Why do dogs get away with it?
2. They are dangerous - not bear dangerous - but dangerous enough as outlined by the City here. Yes of course your dog isn't, but some are. In fact, there was an incident every day of the year with an agressive dog in Calgary last year. A low-incident year (according to the article), but unacceptable nevertheless. Obviously this only tracks the incidents reported, so it's safe to assume the rates are even higher.
3. Crap. People simply don't pick up after their dogs and it is absolutely disgusting. Kudos to you if you do, but enough don't that it is an obvious problem.
4. Urine. I've never seen any dog owner, no matter how responsible, pick up their dog's urine. If I whipped out my schlong in the middle of a park where children were playing to take a leak, people would freak. Let's put the public nudity aspect of that example aside, people would be disgusted that I was peeing where kids were playing. I find it equally disgusting to know and see dogs do this, but it is somehow socially unacceptable to call out a guy for letting his dog piss whereever. It's outrageous, frankly.
5. They're dirty and they smell bad.

A rebuttal from a dog posted on a pet board yesterday:

HERE IN THIS HOUSE
Author unknown

Here in this house...I will never know the loneliness I hear in the barks of the other dogs "out there" I can sleep soundly, assured that when I wake my world will not have changed.I will never know hunger, or the fear of not knowing if I'll eat.

I will not shiver in the cold or grow weary from the heat. I will feel the sun's heat and the rain's coolness and be allowed to smell all that can reach my nose. My fur will shine and never be dirty or matted.

Here in this house...There will be an effort to communicate with me on my level. I will be talked to and, even if I don't understand, I can enjoy the warmth of the words. I will be given a name so that I may know who I am among many. My name will be used in joy and I will love the sound of it!

Here in this house...I will never be a substitute for anything I am not. I will never be used to improve people's images of themselves. I will be loved because I am who I am, not someone's idea of who I should be. I will never suffer for someone's anger, impatience or stupidity. I will be taught all the things I need to know to be loved by all. If I do not learn my lessons well, they will look to my teacher for blame.

Here in this house...I can trust arms that hold, hands that touch. knowing that, no matter what they do, they do it for the good of me. If I am ill, I will be doctored. If scared, I will be calmed. If sad, I will be cheered.No matter what I look like, I will be considered beautiful and known to be of value. I will never be cast out because I am too old, too ill, too unruly, or not cute enough. My life is a responsibility, not an afterthought. I will learn that humans can almost, sometimes, be as kind and as fair as dogs.

Here in this house, I will belong. I will be home.

~Author unknown~

Cowperson