[Locke]

In order not to derail the other thread, I thought we could post our transit cop stories in here.

Seeing as how they're turning into some sort of private army to beat down rebellious transit passenger we may as well reminisce about the good old days because it seems that they are no longer taking crap from anyone and they've begun taking prisoners.

Mine:

A few years ago during the summer I had a bunch of buddies over at my house working on my car and, as car projects go, we get kind of liquored.

At one point a friend calls us and asks if we want to meet up at the Black Swan, we decided that this would be a great idea, but an even better idea would be to buy one of those Molson Canadian cooler backpacks.

So, we strap this backpack to my friend and hit the open transit stations of our fair town preparing to run amok and cause havoc. It was later in the evening on a Saturday, nothing special going on, we hit up the C-Train with our beer in tow, casually drinking.

Now, when we got on the train we were pretty hammered, but not doing anything insane, just minding our own business, but we happened to sit beside some kids who must have just come from a concert or something, a guy and a girl who couldnt have been more than 14 and they had their 10 year old brother with them.

Needless to say though, drunken me tends to make an unmistakable entrance onto a C-Train with a backpack full of beer and a head start. Anyways, my friends started instantly went insane, these are guys that are the best of friends who can randomly start beating the crap out of each other for no apparent reason, and they're huge, like 250 pounds each.

So they basically got up and started a Royal Rumble on a moving train. Us and these 3 kids are the only ones in this car and you should have seen the fear in their eyes, their immature minds wondering what they may have done in their short lives to have deserved to go down like this.

Now, these guys outweigh me by a lot, so I tend not to get involved in battle royales, but the little kid was beginning to freak out, and who could blame him? His brother (I'm guessing) couldn't calm him down but they were all too scared to move away.

So, I move from my bench to sit next to him, moving him against the glass and keeping myself between him and the two drunken gladiators. I lean over and told him he should kick their asses for being idiots on a public train and in minutes he had moved over and I had this kid kicking my friends as they fought on the seats beside him and he was having the time of his life, his brother was relieved that today was not the day they were going to die after all.

Anyways, as the train pulls into Southland station those two were still trying to kill each other and a transit cop standing on the platform sees two guys fighting, one of whom is wearing a beer backpack, and me casually drinking a beer, so its all hands on deck this guy is on his radio and I was fortunate because I saw him.

Being smaller and fitter, I grab the beer and prepare to make a run for it. I break up the guys and tell them that this is our stop and we gotta cheese it because the C Pig is going to crucify us if his fat waddling ass catches us, and we have to watch out for his partner whom I'm presuming he just radioed.

The one advantage Southland has is that its essentially in a residential neighborhood, so as the train is slowing down we're at the doors getting ready to run, I give all of the now hysterically laughing kids a high-five and tell them not to grow up to be like me, and prepare for a low-speed pursuit.

The guy was quickly approaching our door and I knew that if he was at the door before the train stopped then this was going to be a real short trip, so I went back to the kids and decided to use them to aid and abbett me in our getaway. I had them wait at the far door closer to the transit cop, and told them to open the door and act hysterical, just go insane saying these crazy people attacked you to make him stop and buy us the couple of seconds we needed to get out, get a head start and cross the parking lot and get into the neighborhood.

It worked like a charm, those 3 kids stalled him for the couple of seconds we needed while we bolted from the train, and then the little kid screamed "FREEDOM!!" as we were making our escape. As soon as that happens Transit Cop knows hes been had and he goes for his radio but we were gone. The funny thing was that his partner never did show up, I dont know where the other one was.

And that is my story about how 3 brave young men confronted the fascist KGB-esque Transit Authority and won!