Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Actually, I kept gender out of the question/example in my first post for a reason, thereby changing the discussion to include male sluts. Sorry you didn't catch on to that. That's why when you went back to discussing just women, I thought you were suggesting the man in the situation was not at fault. And if you think that's a rant... well. It's not. It was a comment on how generally, men are given a free pass and a high five for doing things women are called sluts for. If you don't agree, that's fine.
I'm fine. This is a random thoughts thread, that's a whole thread on it's own.
As I said, my example was gender neutral. You put a gender on it.
So then the question is, what's the limit? Why hold it against them at all? Why bring it up? If what really matters is their personality now, what difference does it make if they've had 5 or 50 partners? Shouldn't the only requirement be that it's exclusive?
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I'll say fair enough to your earlier comments of this post. I am equally defensive of how angry girls can get about the double standards. I don't want to get into a big debate but genetically and at a primitive instinctual level women have tended to chose the males, while males have attempted to maximize their mating abilities, just like in real nature. But I digress, that is for another debate. Don't let my comments make you think I think guys being sluts are ok, but that there may be an instinctual nature for men to proliferate partners and for women to be more choosy and apportion out sex a little more tightly.
So what is the limit?
I'm not sure. Never met a girl that I really like that I was suspicious that she had more than a very reasonable number of sexual partners. I'd say the limit is directly proportional to how she handled letting me know she had some previous indiscretions and how much I like/love her.
I don't think that exclusivity only matters and that the past is the past. There is a certain aspect that what a person was determines who they are now. Think of the same situation but with an analogy what if they killed someone. If they lost their urge to kill would I still want to be with them? I know murder is a little more serious than sex but still.
I guess the big things for me is that she didn't do anything too horrible. Any chick that has been the subject of video taped stuff - I don't want my kids, or me or my friends to see my wife getting nailed on the internet - likewise if I found out she did things like Bukake or something I'd be pretty appalled.
Furthermore, she'd have to at least realize that that type of activity isn't cool. Not that she'd have to feel shame per se, but that she feels that having more respect for oneself and body is more important than that.
Exclusive to me would be almost good enough. As long as I wasn't worried, suspicious etc it could work. I think anything above 20 and I'd be a little suspicious no matter what. If she's my age, 24, and she started at 16 then that is 2.5 partners per year. That means that she'd avg a partner every 5 months. That means either she had a really bad streak with a partner a week for several months or she has never had a long term relationship, ever. Neither of those two scenarios are cool I don't think.