Ah, onetwo_threefour, you've reminded me of a story that some will find funny and others will quietly plot my death over...
A couple years ago, back in Wopoly, I lived in an apartment with my friend and business partner. It was a huge apartment, by Rome standards and we, being in the hostel business, had converted a couple of the rooms into hostel rooms. My friend had a dog named Leo (pronounced lay-oh) and we were harbouring an illegal Romanian immigrant named Fiori. Fiori got free room and board for the bargain price of doing the dishes, feeding and walking Leo and cleaning the bathrooms and mopping. Since she was Leo's primary caregiver, Leo had a tendancy to sleep with her, on her bed, in the bigger hostel room.
One day, out of sheer opportunity, we sold my room as a private room. That meant that I had to sleep in the hostel room with the hostelites and Fiori and Leo. No big deal. I went out, drank like a fish and came home and passed out on one of the empty top bunks in the 12 bed room. Slept like a baby until about 6am when I was awoken by Leo. Leo licking his balls.
Now, I'm sure many of you have had or do have dogs and you've heard them lick their balls, but Leo had some kind of obsession with his balls. Once he'd start licking, he wouldn't stop. And it was disgustingly loud.
Argh. So I wake up at 6am to incessant ball licking with a splitting headache. I can't very well yell at him because the room is 3/4 full and it's not kosher to disturb your guests with middle of the night screaming. So I do the next best thing... Check my pockets for ammo. Yes, I was sleeping fully clothed. Just a wise idea in a hostel bed, even if you own it. So I pull out a mini lighter, sit up, stare at Leo for a few seconds to let my eyes adjust, wind up and wing the lighter at him. *THWOCK* It bounces right off his skull, flew up in the air, and landed on the bed. Almost perfectly silent. Only me and Leo knew.
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