Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Sorry the race to the game thing didn't work... I didn't really think it fair to have everyone drive to the dome just to have lots of people not go to a game.
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Oh there you go being all sensible - haven't you heard that humor is bad things happening to other people?
I'm going to do all the contests I can right now, just because it's late, I'm bored and it's too cold to go anywhere and do anything:
1. Ten Word Story
She died alone, and years later he'd forgotten her name.
2. Best Pickup Line
"Hello, my name is <your name here> and I was wondering if I could sit with you and just talk?"
3. Best diss of an Oilers fan
"Looking back 10 years from now, are you going to be happy thinking of these as 'the Stortini years'?"
4. Flames Haiku
the ice sculpts the child
with weary days and journeys
to join kings of fire
5. Original Joke
A Canadiens fan, Canucks fan, Oilers fan, and Leafs fan have survived a plane crash up in the Andes, and as there is not enough food, they have decided that one of them must die so the others can divide his body up and live until they are rescued. So each of them has to come up with a reason why he shouldn't be the one to die, and the Oilers fan starts out:
"With Kevin Lowe finally kicked upstairs, the Oilers will sign all the good free agents next summer, then we'll make the playoffs and win the Cup! That hasn't happened since 1990! I couldn't possibly miss that!"
The other three look at each other and roll their eyes, but now it's the Canucks fan's turn:
"I can't die because now that we've signed Sundin, we're gonna win our first Cup! Ever! I couldn't possibly miss that!"
There are groans this time from the other three guys, and then the Canadiens fan says:
"Well, I can't die either - the Canadiens are looking good this year, Koivu is finally going to play an entire year without getting injured, Tanguay and Kovalev are going to play with passion, and we are going to win the Cup for the first time since 1993! I couldn't possibly miss that! "
Again it's three guys rolling their eyes, and then the Leafs fan speaks out:
"It can't be me - the Leafs haven't won the Cup since 1967, and now that we have Brian Burke as our GM we're gonna make some trades, fix the offence, fix the defence, fix the goaltending, and finally do it again! I couldn't possibly miss that!"
The other three look at each other, nod, then leap upon the Leafs fan, and he is messily devoured.
Afterwards the Canadiens fan sits back, picking his teeth, and says, "We sure saved THAT guy a world of disappointment, eh?"