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Originally posted by I_H8_Crawford@May 4 2005, 11:56 AM
^ When you say you were doing everything that a b/f would do - did that include physical benefits? There's a world of difference b/t the two...
And, it may sound harsh and chauvenistic, but women don't like being treated like goddesses - don't put them up on some pedestal - make them work to get you - you have to grow a pair, stop trying to be friends with someone - when you meet a girl tell youself then "I'm going to fata this girl" and do it, or live with being the "good, sweet friend" and never get anything out of it in terms of relationships.
From what it sounds like you did all the shinguard like going to see shinguardty sappy movies with her and then you get nothing in return - wouldn't you rather put up with some of that shinguard, knowing you'll get some good action later that night? Friends -> lovers is not an easy transition and usually fails. fata this bitch, chalk it up to experience and move on... and don't try the whole Friends thing first!
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I know it's a hard transition to make from friend to boyfriend, however I'm a shy person by nature, I need to know who a person is, their interests, what they're like, etc before I think if I want to spend alot of time with them in a relationship.
I know people keep saying you can't treat a girl like a godess, or like a queen, because she doesn't want that. First of all I have trouble believing that. Secondly, I try and treat everyone the best I possibly can, if I like someone I'm not going to "hold back" and treat them like dirt, or less than the best. If I don't want to do my best for them, why should they want to spend their time with me? Two concepts I just don't buy into.
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Basically, went from being "just friends" to me being doing everything a boyfriend would do,
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but platonically and no commitment.
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platonically means in a non-sexual, non-physical way.
When I first met the girl I never really thought about her "in that way". It was after she started paying more attention to me, wanting to go out for wings with me, touching me when she talked (ie: saying something like "You know what?" excitedly and grabbing my arm, walking down the sidewalk, tease me over something and give me a nudge to try and get me to fall into a snowbank).
The only time she met any of my friends was by coinsidence. Both of us had Christmas parties for our programs on the same day. We both happened to be at the same bar (odds of that happening are slim). No less than five people I was with told me ask her out, and that she was into me, flirting with me etc.
Did feelings develop? Yeah, but it's not like only I changed the dynamic of the friendship.
Frankly, I don't think it's that I was used like I was, and rejected.
I think it's the fact that I was used like I was, rejected, only to have some stranger get exactly what I wanted with little to no effort, and then her not having the decency to let me know.
Looking at former flames, whenever they had or got a boyfriend I was always happy for them, wanted them to be a good guy, treat them right etc. Ultimately I want her, and all girls I fall for to be happy. If that's not with me, then well it's not with me. But please don't disgaurd me like a used diaper when you do start going out with someone. Atleast tell me "hey I met guy" tell me that you like him, then my first impression is: hmmm sounds like a good guy. When I hear it in passing, and no one knows anything about the guy, I'm not gonna be sitting here thinking he's Prince Charming.