To continue in the vein of the pissing contest, this is what might happen to your Xbox:
For those not down with the video games, this means that my console is effectively a very small boat anchor AND it's out of warranty! I'm going to be calling them quick here to see how much it costs to get it repaired, but I may just end up buying a used/new one, IF I buy one at all.
Update: They fix the 3 red lights for free. It's almost like this stuff happens all the time!