Quote:
Originally Posted by ComixZone
My biggest problem with 'general' parenting these days is that it's focused on control, not discipline.
Let kids make mistakes, but if they act out and do something rude, improper, bad etc. make sure that they feel the full consequence of their action.
If all you do is control what the kid has access to, what do you think will happen when they get into school and suddenly have access to all these things they havent had any experience with?
...I'm pretty sure I'm not voicing my opinion the way I want to be, but hopefully you can get the point. Of course you have to limit the kids on the extremes, but like...My parents were definitely pretty free range with stuff, but for whatever reason, I always knew my limits. I'd feel bad if I disappointed them, or got in trouble. I knew that there were consequences for doing bad things - so I didn't do bad things.
Discipline is a much greater parenting tool than control is.
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This is a great point and struck home with me. With my step-kids, one of whom in particular seems to be exceedingly spoiled (Grumpy, disobedient, etc unless she is getting her way) and I've started taking away things to discipline. For example, if she hasn't done her homework then her access to a tv gets taken away. With reading the above, it's bordering on being controlling.
Where is the dividing line between discipline and being controlling?
Are there techniques to minimize backtalk, maximize respect/cooperation, reduce the amount that she's spoiled and selfish, etc?
It's hard...