[FlamesAddiction]

I know we have some business savvy people here, so I have a question about etiquette when looking to change jobs.

My situation is like this...

I have been in my current employment for about 2 years now. All in all, it has gone very well. I have had a lot of positive feedback and my responsibilities have increased a lot. I do get the sense that I am in the company's long term plans and have been fast tracked. It is a professional field where competition creates a decent amount of turnover (people switch company's often for financial incentives).

Even though I generally like my job, my partner is not happy in the town we live in. Neither of us have family close by, and we really don't know a lot of people. The travel demands of my job are starting to affect our happiness. To make the situation more urgent, we both are getting older and want to start a family, but she is adament about not buying a home where we are and she doesn't want to have children unless she is close to her family roots.

A decent opportunity has come up in Ottawa (where she is from) and I want to throw my hat in for it. The problem is that I don't want them to contact my current employer as I think it could create some hard feelings and could affect my advancement if I do end up staying there longer. If you were hiring someone, would it lbe detrimental if they asked that you didn't contact their current employer? I know our company has poached people from other companies, but at the same time, I think if I was an employer, I would want to talk to the current employer of anyone I was potentially hiring.

I realize it sounds like I am being selfish, and I do feel guilty about it. The company I work for has invested in me and the people are nice, but on the flip side, I have heard stories about people working for the same company for 20 years and then getting let go with little or no warning. If business is business for large corporations, then shouldn't it be for me? The company I work for is the 5th largest engineering company in the world and I doubt that my feelings would be considered too heavily if it conflicted with their bottom line. So would it be ethically OK to keep my intentions from my current employer? If I don't get the other position, I might stay at my current company for several more years so I don't want to blow it.

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.