I don't know that the universe is too gigantic for us to be noticed yet. That kind of thinking kept educated people believing in flat earths and the Four Elements for years and years.
And the humanoid appearance? Why not? I tend to think that since we are constantly looking for planets with similar surface conditions, beings on other planets would be doing the same thing. We are pretty well adapted to our environment, so why wouldn't they look similar? Maybe opposable toes... Maybe bigger brains... Just as long as we're not talking about Jabba the Hut. And if a galactic traveler were to look significantly different, they'd probably assume a familiar form so that the freak out factor would be minimized.
As for the assumption that technological brilliance = moral brilliance... Well... I don't necessarily agree with that. I gotta think about it a bit more.
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