About a year ago I was having the same thoughts about death. I was having a conversation with one of my good friends about death I remember telling him
“I have gone a lot of things in my life and I’ve turned out alright, but I don’t know what I would do if someone closed to me died…I don’t think I could deal with it”
About a week after I told my friend that my Nana passed away. It was expected she had been in a hospice for sometime and the entire family knew the end was near for her.
Than about two weeks after my Nana passed, I came home to my condo on Friday night greeted by a police officer. He told that my roommate and long time best friend was dead. The paramedics had just taken his body away and the police officers were on there way to his mother’s house to notify her of what had happened. They had asked me not to call anyone until they had notified next of kin. So they left and I was alone in the place were my friend has just died. I walked into his room, his computer was on, and the clothes he had worn the day before were sprawled out on the floor. I was so lost; I didn’t know what to do. So I grabbed a picture of him and I that he had on his dresser and laid down on floor of his bedroom. That was the worst moment of my life.
Since that day a lot has gone through my head about death. When something like that happens it makes it much more real. What I’ve realized is that death is a part of life, everyone dies, everyone you know will die. I don’t think that my friend is in some other place beyond the grave. I think he is still here with me and my friends. He lives on through the stories we have about him. Through the memories we share. Death doesn’t scare me. What scares me is leaving behind the people I love. How they will deal with me being gone.
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